FatBikes - Who Knew?

As surprises absolutely no one, even less those people who know me, I periodically am wrong.

Like, remember when I said it’s too icy to ride a bike in Jackson winter streets?

I hereby correct myself by noting that fatbikes are a thing. In my defense, it never occurred to me that anyone would want to bike in the snow enough to invent such a thing.

I’m both too lazy and not interested enough to get into the technical details, but a fatbike has huge grippy tires to allow its rider to bike over the snow. A quick online perusal shows people use them for sand and mud as well. And apparently, modern dance poses wearing shorts and sports bras, because God knows every sport needs its scantily-clad women.

Someone else's little red fat bike - note the crazy tires. And the falling snow.

They’ve been popping up in my consciousness for a few weeks now. You know, just long enough to prove me wrong about biking in the winter.

I saw a whole group of people riding them at Grand Targhee Resort on a recent ski trip. When you still ski in the kids’ zone, you’re low enough that the out-of-bounds area isn’t so much an avalanche risk as nice deep snow in the woods, which apparently is the perfect terrain for a fun sub-zero bike ride. I’m not exaggerating, by the way. The high that day was eight degrees.

Then I saw an out-of-date ad for a FatBike Festival a few hours away in Island Park, Idaho. Granted, this area’s smaller wilderness towns (and I solidly include Jackson in this list) are prone to festivals. They break out in festivals at the drop of a hat in the hopes that manufactured excitement will be contagious and infect pocketbooks nationwide.  However, the ad did indicate to me that there are enough people who are into this whole fatbike thing that the town of Island Park thought forming a festival around it would be enough to draw people and their money to the area.

The sighting that sparked this post was just a few days ago when I passed by The Hub on my way to get a burrito at the place next door.

I’ll post a picture as soon as I remember to take one, but it will be of a fatbike with a “Rent Me” sign on it. And what look a lot like neoprene oven mitts attached to the handlebars, presumably to keep one’s hands warm.

The Hub, home of both helpful question answerers and snooty road bikers (as noted during the spring), is open in the winter! (who knew?) And they offer fatbikes for rent, presumably because there is enough demand to make it worth the effort.

I give up. Winter in Jackson Hole is apparently no reason not to put on your snow pants, stick a balaclava under your helmet, strap on a pair of oven mitts and hop on your bike. Even if you’re not on a fatbike, at least based on the person (well, I assume it was a person and not as appearances suggested, a bundle of weatherproof cloth with a helmet on top) riding a normal mountain bike down Snow King Avenue this morning.  Of course, the bike lanes play host to layers-deep frozen slush, so he (we'll go with he) was biking down the middle of the road, but you almost had to admire that kind of commitment to green transportation. Or being out of gas, which is a pretty powerful motivating factor to bike to work in my experience.

All that being said, my resolve to not bike during the winter is unchanged. When I can’t always get my car up icy hills in this town, it’s kind of asking for trouble to do the same on a bike. At least when I get stuck in my car, there’s a heater. And if there’s anything you learn from living through a Jackson winter, it's that you gotta love a heater, amirite?

Learning to ski is totally like learning to mountain bike: Introducing Little Blue Skis

I have come to the conclusion that I must have a subconscious grudge against my skeletal system. There are not many sports I enjoy that haven’t at one point killed someone and all my favorites commonly result in broken bones for the people who do them.

Mountain biking does indeed come to mind. This past summer I broke my bike rather than my bones when I fell, but I did end up with an excellent array of bruises and scrapes.

I rode horses for most of my childhood and a good chunk of college. I kept doing it in spite of the fact that I was possibly the only nine-year-old in the history of the barn I frequented to be bucked off by the gentlest, oldest horse in the place.

So naturally, I took up skiing about a month ago.

My little blue skis.

 I realize that this is supposed to be a bike-centric blog. The trouble is, riding bikes in the icy Jackson streets and sub-zero temperatures is just a bit too suicide-y even for me. Also, as I discovered this summer, there are only so many trails around here suitable for learning and practicing, and I foolishly didn’t take that into account when I planned out this blog.

Also, it turns out the two have more in common that first meets the eye.

 As I acknowledge above, both involve more falling than your average activity. As I took my first foray onto the slopes I felt bit like I did on a new cycling trail during the summer. Most notably, I once had to fall on purpose to avoid crashing into a huge wood cutout of a leering mouse in the kid's area.

 Dressing funny is part of the culture. Biking has spandex. Skiing has a look people refer to as “steezy.” People who use this word unironically appear to be trying to achieve an acid-trip homage to 90s Nickelodeon ads – lots of neon.
   
It is possible to spend more money than I make in a year on your gear. I got reasonably good gear for under $400. A brand-new setup I looked at earlier this year would have cost me $2,000 – without any accessories or associated clothing. And it was on sale.

Both sports are full of proselytizers. People who do much biking or much skiing are eager to tell you all about why the way they do it is the most awesome of all the ways and you should do it too. Skiing is even worse than biking. Skiers recruit with a passion for giving testimony I have not seen since my last Christian youth rally.

Skiing and biking are both seriously fun. What's not to love? I mean, sure you fall. Sure you end up with sore muscles and weird bruises. Sure you deal with terrain and weather (eight below ski day, anyone? I’ve totally done it.)
But both involve being outside, pumping adrenaline, getting solid exercise and racing down steep hills really, really fast.

Also, public safety announcement, both because it’s important and because my dad reads this blog and will bring it up later if I don’t put it in. Wear helmets biking and skiing. And horseback riding, for that matter. All of these things are much more fun when your brains stay inside your skull.